Communication problems in relationships are very common- so much so- that no matter how great you and your sweetheart get along, you’re will definitely run into some miscommunication some time in your relationship. The good news is, with the right approach, these problems usually aren’t too hard to solve.
The Gender divide!
Men and women look at relationships in unmistakably different ways. Without and open mind, it’s all too easy to write the opposite gender off as “unreasonable” or even start thinking of their differences as childish or stupid. The fact is neither gender is perfectly logical. Taking some time to learn about exactly how the opposite gender looks at love matters can help you avoid a lot of problems in relationships.
Listen!
Remember that you’re one half of the communication problem. When you’ve been together for a while, you might start to think you know what your sweetheart is going to say. Unless you can read minds, you’ll get a lot farther by truly hearing your partner out. When your partner tells you something, repeat what they said to make sure you understood accurately and let them know you heard.
Don’t play the blame game!
Instead of pointing fingers and trying to decide whose fault it is, instead focus on how you’re going to solve it. Similarly, try to avoid blaming your partner for your overall disposition. Specific issues like “I feel terrible when you flirt with other people,” are fine, but all-inclusive statements like, “You make me miserable.” or “You stress me out.” are taking it a bit too far.
Just the facts!
When trying to talk over problems in relationships, don’t bring up any thing you can’t prove. In its place, stay with what cannot be argued, like your own feelings. For example, saying “You disrespected me in front of my friends.” can be argued because standards of respect differ comprehensive, saying “I was embarrassed when you told Dan you don’t think I deserve a raise.” is not only unarguable, but also gets your point across more visibly.
Be kind, yet frank!
You’re not helping your relationship by suffering in silence. All you end up doing is allowing wounds to fester and they will eventually reach the point where they will never heal. As an alternative, if you have a problem, tell your partner, but be gentle and kind. Remember, your partner probably isn’t trying to hurt you and may be upset to hear you’re unhappy.
Don’t try to changer your partner!
Chances are your partner isn’t with you because they’re hoping you can correct all their character flaws. You’re not their therapist. You’re their friend and lover.
You may think you’re giving positive criticism, but your partner might think your love for them has died because of this one little flaw they have. Instead of criticizing, support improvement by giving your partner some positive feedback when they do something you really like.
These techniques may be simple, but the really do work to solve communication problems in relationships. Give them a try.
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